tersangat lah boring harini..dok sorang2 je kat umah...nak buat keje macam takde semangat.rasanya ada muhammad haiqal aku lagi cergas buat keje.sapu sampah ke...vacuum ke.sediakan susu dan makanan dia..ni dah takda sape nak sepahkan rumah,takda sapa nak kacau aku jadinya Im so jobless.haha!asiklah duduk membesarkan
harini pengasuh dan suaminya pergi IJN untuk further check up.harap2 takda masalah yang berat dan dipermudahkan segala urusan amin..pastinya haiqal pon rindu kat dorang..for now, let him be at jitra for a while..let abah latef dia dapat rehat yang secukupnya..
this week will gonna get my husband's permission to go back to my hometown..
I do wanna meet my little son..as my condition is getting better, I think next weekend is the right time for me to go back for visit.then a couple weeks after, we'll go back again together to bring back haiqal.heee~
I suffer and cry almost every night remembering my son..all I can do is just hugging his favourite pillow and get to see his pictures till I fall asleep. last couple nights, I asked my husband..
I said,"abang, could you please let me go back to jitra this weekend?please..."
and guess. what was the answer I got?
"sayang...u should think more of urself and the baby rather than thinking of him..I'm sure that he's doing ok with his grandparents..could you please be patient and wait for this coming Chinese New Year.we'll go back together then ok?"
he got no response from me. I did not nodded my head nor looking at him.*If I need to wait for CNY, that means another 3 more weeks to go before school holiday..doesn't it too long,huh?*
I sat on the sofa and continue watching television..my mind flew to my dearest muhammad haiqal.as if only knew what was on my mind..I was so sad..why he could not see how a mother missing his son badly?I do love my baby..but not to forget I need muhammad haiqal too.
whenever I get back from school, I will turn on the tv like I used to do when he's around..I'll watch his favourite show HI-5..and at the same time imagining he's dancing according to the song's dancing steps..I can barely see him shouting excitedly whenever the HI-5 gets started.Allahurabbi..and for all of suddens tears drop on my face..
my husband might be feeling ok because he's too busy with his workload as a doctor..for me as a teacher and a weekend housewife I spend most of my times at home after school..like today, u guys might have been spending ur weekend with your family, but me..I just sit in front of my laptop updating my blog expressing my feelings. If I wanna go anywhere, I need to wait for him which is I don't know when will it be..:((*cries*
this thing really stressed me up..and it's not good for the baby I'm carrying.
I can only pray to Allah to ease my anxiety.
my sweetheart with his grandma a.k.a uwe~:)
I just can't stop remembering him..his cradle..his bottle..his ultraman..his pillow...everything in this house reminds me to him..
Ya Rabb..I really need ur help to strengthen my heart..